Chapter 88: Mel Robbins on stalling self sabotage and celebrating sexual selectivity

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I love Mel Robbins.

I am one of the 30 million people who’ve viewed her TED Talk “How to stop screwing yourself over” and I’m one of the two million people who have a copy of The Five-Second Rule on my bookshelf. If you asked me five years ago if I’d have a book on my shelf telling people to simply count backwards from five to get out of bed, ask somebody out, or leave a toxic relationship well … I would have thought you were batty.

But that would have been just a few months before I met Mel and when I heard the way she talked about it and the science behind it, well … I was all in. It’s no wonder her videos have over a billion views or why Sony Pictures asked her to host an eponymous daytime talk show. Because there is something singularly captivating about the no-nonsense-science-backed-habits-from-a-Midwestern-farmer type way Mel thinks, writes, and speaks.

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Do you have plans today? If you have an hour or two free why don’t you pull up a chair with us in Bryant Park in midtown Manhattan on a warm and sunny afternoon and let’s the three of us give a pub day toast to Mel’s new book The High 5 Habit and discuss some of life’s biggest themes through her three most formative books.

Let’s turn the page into Chapter 88 now…

What You'll Learn:

  • What do having a child and writing a book have in common?

  • How can an author detach themselves from what their book will or will not accomplish?

  • Why do we need external validation?

  • What is the power of dopamine?

  • What is the power of celebratory energy?

  • How can we stop squandering time?

  • What is successful parenting?

  • How should we think about proximity to family as we age?

  • How should we talk about sex with our kids?

  • How can we talk to our kids about the experience of sex?

  • How should we talk to kids about pornography?

  • Why are we uncomfortable talking about sex and pleasure?

  • What are the perils of breast implants?

  • How should we think about career shifts?

  • How should we define success?

  • How do we gain the courage to pursue our dreams?

  • Why should you ask yourself if you want to high-five your job?

  • What is a high-five marriage?

Notable quotes from mel robbins:

“There is a difference between the impact that I want my book to make and the fact that I am a competitive mother fucker that wants to win.” Mel Robbins #3bookspodcast

“There is a part of me like everybody else that longs to have that external validation.” Mel Robbins #3bookspodcast

“I am merely using science to help you take programming that is already in your mind and in your nervous system and aiming it back at you.” Mel Robbins #3bookspodcast

“Your brain doesn’t know the difference between someone high-fiving you and you high-fiving yourself.” Mel Robbins #3bookspodcast

“Even on your crappiest days, you high-five yourself, you don’t say a frickin word, your brain drips dopamine.” Mel Robbins #3bookspodcast

“It’s only when I started to look at myself in the mirror and give myself the support and the encouragement and the kindness that I really wanted from other people that I really started to understand the real power of sourcing that for yourself.” Mel Robbins #3bookspodcast

The joy in most relationships is just the joy of being together.” Mel Robbins #3bookspodcast

“We think the secret to a great relationship is to give give give give give give and do whatever the other person asks but the real magic in your life is just being with people.” Mel Robbins #3bookspodcast

“When you learn how to stand tall and firm and know that you are worthy, just because you are here, it’s a totally different way to go through life.” Mel Robbins #3bookspodcast

“Everybody is hiding something. Everybody is putting something out there but thinking something else.” Mel Robbins #3bookspodcast

“You should teach your kids about sex and intimacy and commitment and self respect and pleasure.” Mel Robbins #3bookspodcast

On young people having sex: “If you cannot actually talk about it, you’re not ready for it.” Mel Robbins #3bookspodcast

On her anxiety in law school: “It's like jumping into a river that's heading toward a dam that you're going to drown in and not knowing how to get out of the current.” - Mel Robbins #3bookspodcast

“Perspective only comes from experience” Mel Robbins #3bookspodcast

On pursuing the dream: “Don’t quit. Stay there and suffer. And work on something else. And then it'll get to a point where the pain is too much and you'll finally get off your ass and then you'll quit because you will have built a runway.” Mel Robbins #3bookspodcast

“Never leave a bathroom without high-fiving the human being you see in the mirror, send yourself back into the game of life, knowing that you have your own back.” Mel Robbins #3bookspodcast

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