podcast

Chapter 105: Nancy the Librarian on the riches and rewards of resplendent reading

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Nancy Pearl is a Superhero Librarian.

One of our values on 3 Books is “Librarians and booksellers are doctors for the mind” and while we’ve hung out with a number of booksellers, Nancy is somehow our very first librarian!

How did we find Nancy? Well, 3 Booker Cindy Sharek left us a gushing voicemail at 1-833-READ-A-LOT singing Nancy’s praises and we were convinced. She’s won the Librarian of the Year Award, received a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Pacific Northwest Booksellers Association, and, get this, has even been turned into an action figure!

Nancy is a frequent guest on NPR’s Morning Edition, has her own TV show called Book Lust with Nancy Pearl, and, as if all that wasn’t enough, is also a bestselling author with titles like George and Lizzie, Book Lust, and The Writer’s Library.

Nancy joined me from her home in Seattle and we talked about the role of the library today, the power of reading, the joy of meandering, the 4 Ps of books, which books help reluctant readers get their start, what makes debut novels special, movie adaptations, audio books, and, of course, her 3 most formative books.

Let’s flip the page into Chapter 105 now…

Chapter 105: Nancy the librarian on the riches and rewards of resplendent reading

What You'll Learn:

  • What purpose does a public library serve today?

  • How do librarians help readers choose books?

  • What are the 4 Ps of books?

  • What books help reluctant readers?

  • Why should we reread Harry Potter?

  • What’s special about debut novels?

  • Which books let you meander?

  • Should we see movies adapted from books?

  • What are the best books to start enjoying audio books?

  • And much, much more…

Notable quotes from nancy:

“​​The public library is the heart of the community.” Nancy Pearl #3bookspodcast

“A public library is the people’s university.” Nancy Pearl #3bookspodcast

“We want children to find themselves in the pages of a book and lose themselves in the pages of a book.” Nancy Pearl #3bookspodcast

“There should be a lot more collaboration between libraries and bookstores. They are not in competition.” Nancy Pearl #3bookspodcast

“Readers fall into four categories: someone who reads for plot, someone who reads for people, someone who reads for place, and someone who reads for prose.” Nancy Pearl #3bookspodcast

“I'm against labeling books because to label any book a particular genre is to doom it to people who don't read that genre which is a shame.” Nancy Pearl #3bookspodcast

“In a book I'm looking for characters that are so well-developed, whether they're good or bad, I don't really care. I just care that I want to know them and I want to feel like they're really living, breathing people.” Nancy Pearl #3bookspodcast

“One of the things that makes reading so wonderful for children is that use of imagination to create the characters in their head.” Nancy Pearl #3bookspodcast

Quoting Paul Auster: “The reader and the writer create the book that the reader is reading.” Nancy Pearl #3bookspodcast

“I have chosen in this life not to do anything basically except read.” Nancy Pearl #3bookspodcast

“Reading has been the bedrock for everything.” Nancy Pearl #3bookspodcast

“Reading and believing in what you do are the keys to success.” Nancy Pearl #3bookspodcast

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Chapter 104: Boniface Mwangi combats corrosive Kenyan corruption with courage and kindness

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Boniface Mwangi is a Nairobi-based social justice activist fighting for equity in his home country and abroad. In 2007 his photos of violence following the national election went viral and spawned global attention on political instability and corruption in Kenya.

He is the subject of the Sundance-award winning documentary Softie and the author of the photojournalism book Unbounded which has been hailed by Hilary Clinton and President Barack Obama.

Over two million people follow him @bonifacemwangi on Twitter and Facebook where he remarkably fearlessly calls attention to untold cases of abuse, corruption, and cronyism. For his work he has been beaten, arrested for “organizing a revolution”, and had his home burned down.

His 2014 TED Talk is called “The Day I Stood Alone” and in it he shares that he’s called a heckler, troublemaker, irritant, rebel, activist, and … the voice of the people. He continues to fight for justice every day alongside his wife Hellen Njeri Mwangi and their three children.

Boniface joined me from Nairobi, Kenya and I think you’re going to feel as inspired and energized by this conversation as I was.

We talk about what it’s like advocating for the most vulnerable, whether we can trust photographs today, how you deal with intimidation, how you live in fearlessness, how you bring back dignity to an oppressed people, why we must all seek to become activists, and, of course, what are Boniface’s 3 most formative books.

This is an exciting, engaging, passion-filled conversation.

Let’s flip the page into Chapter 104 now…

Chapter 104: Boniface Mwangi combats corrosive Kenyan corruption with courage and kindness

What You'll Learn:

  • How do we advocate for the vulnerable?

  • What was the single greatest act of giving in the modern world?

  • How do you deal with intimidation when you have a family?

  • How do you become an activist?

  • What are the biggest issues in Kenya right now?

  • Why is it so hard to travel as a black person?

  • What should African unity bring?

  • How was the mafia brought down in Italy?

  • How do you live in fearlessness?

  • Why must we all be activists?

Notable quotes from boniface:

“We have a very beautiful country but we struggle with leadership every day.” Boniface Mwangi #3bookspodcast

“There's so many reality shows and things that you see every other day that make you numb to human suffering and make you numb to what is really going on and make you ignore the situation.” Boniface Mwangi #3bookspodcast

“Activism comes from a place of love.” Boniface Mwangi #3bookspodcast

“I use my platform to expose people. And even if they are not afraid of being exposed they become famous for doing the wrong thing.” Boniface Mwangi #3bookspodcast

“An image can change an entire conversation. It can change laws, it can change policies, it can change everything.” Boniface Mwangi #3bookspodcast

“I use my Twitter feed to not be the voice of the people but the platform of the people.” Boniface Mwangi #3bookspodcast

“Traveling as a black person is hard work.” Boniface Mwangi #3bookspodcast

“There's no way as a continent, you're going  to move forward without addressing historical injustices.” Boniface Mwangi #3bookspodcast

“I want my kids to grow up in a country where the resources of the country benefit them.” Boniface Mwangi #3bookspodcast

“Africa is poor because it's looted and raped by multinationals with the help of our leaders. And that's why I talk about leadership because if we don't fix our leadership, we're doomed.” Boniface Mwangi #3bookspodcast

“If you're scared, you die every day. If you are not scared, you die only once.” Boniface Mwangi #3bookspodcast

“Other countries have a mafia. In Kenya, the mafia has a country.” Boniface Mwangi #3bookspodcast

Quoting Alice Walker - “Activism is the rent you pay to be in this world.” Boniface Mwangi #3bookspodcast

“Every single person should become an activist because if we all become activists we are going to  fix the world collectively together.” Boniface Mwangi #3bookspodcast

“​​You can never achieve anything without courage. So speak courage fluently.” Boniface Mwangi #3bookspodcast

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Chapter 103: Jonathan Haidt on mirrory misconceptions and morality in the matrix

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Jonathan Haidt is the Professor of Ethical Leadership at NYU’s Stern School of Business and the author of bestsellers The Righteous Mind, The Happiness Hypothesis and The Coddling of the American Mind. He has been inducted into the American Academy of Arts and Sciences, selected as one of the Top 50 Thinkers in the world, and delivered four TED Talks.

I was lucky to be introduced to Jon by our mutual friend Roger Martin, our guest in Chapter 68.

We sit at his kitchen table to discuss his then-in-process 8000-word Atlantic cover story slammer After Babel: How Social Media Dissolved the Social Mortar of Society and Made America Stupid, which doubles as a sneak peek on the book he’s working on now.

I hope your mind is stretched like taffy as mine was when you listen to Jon. There’s a reason Roger Martin warned me “You’ll have to keep up with him. He thinks pretty quickly.” And yet he is incredibly kind, patient, and humble. A consummate teacher.

We discuss: hive culture, the binary divide, the need for constraints, life after Babel, how we make decisions, communication through stories, LSD, the power of explore mode, and, of course, Jon’s 3 most formative books.

Let’s flip the page into Chapter 103 now…

Chapter 103: jonathan haidt on mirrory misconceptions and morality in the matrix

What You'll Learn:

  • What is a hive culture?

  • What is group level selection?

  • What is the difference between social psychology and sociology?

  • What does it mean to be tightly bound vs loosely bound?

  • Why is too much freedom bad?

  • What are the ills of social media?

  • What is the story of Babel?

  • Why was the Arab Spring such a pivotal moment in history?

  • How has Facebook changed the world for the worse?

  • What separates the right from the left?

  • Why is constraint essential to freedom?

  • How do we make decisions?

  • Why should we appeal to the elephant?

  • Why should we parent using stories?

  • How do we better communicate in relationships?

  • How should people think about doing LSD and should it be legal?

  • What is the mind?

  • What are Jon’s favorite podcasts?

  • What is the fundamental question in life?

Notable quotes from jonathan:

“We make judgements of each other in part because we co-create a vast imagined world that we then live in and within that world, it's constant judgments of each other.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“We're now in the world after Babel, which is a frightening, lonely place where we are not bound into healthy or stable groups.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“Society is changing so fast, it's changing at a speed beyond our capacity. And this I think is leading to a sense that everything is coming apart. Shredded. The center cannot hold.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“The internet is connecting everyone to everyone in ways that don't encourage information sharing and true communication, but they encourage social posturing and display.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“We do have a dysfunctional society in which everything is becoming the red team versus the blue team” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“Now we have a shredded moral fabric. We live in thousands or millions of little temporary bubbles” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“The matrix is a consensual hallucination.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“The right is correct about a lot of things. And the left has no clue. And the left is correct about a lot of things and the right, while you can't be conservative and not have heard what the left thinks, but they don't buy it.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“Each side is right in what they affirm but wrong in what they deny.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“FOX News made the right crazy beginning of the nineties and there's a lot written  about that shift, but I think social media has done a bigger number or at least as big a number on the left.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“Pleasure comes not from reaching your goal, it comes from making progress on the journey.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“If you just have endless bottomless feed and endless passage of stuff, that is just enervating.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“We need structure constraint and restraint within which we can have freedom.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“The problem in America has not been too much authoritarianism it has been too much anomie or normlessness.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“The mind is divided like a small rider on a large elephant. And the small rider is our conscious reasoning and the large elephant is everything else. It's all the intuition.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“We're so bad at logic problems, but we're incredible at perceptual problems.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“Telling a good story is an essential part of persuasion.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“Great persuaders open with a story, whereas a lot of rationalists open with data or evidence and it doesn't work.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“Our morals come not from reasoning but from intuition.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“Evolution gave us a lot of intuitions and each culture builds on a subset of them.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“First identify what it is that the person is right about and acknowledge it and then give your point of view.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“There clearly are some neural circuits that are rarely activated, but once activated through LSD, they have positive transformative effects." Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“When you lose track of yourself in space and time, this is how you can begin to understand mystical experiences from around the world; your ego boundaries are destroyed and you become one with the universe.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“The secret to success in this amazing world that we live in, which has many problems, is to spend almost all of your life in explore mode.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

“If you're subject to anger, then you're hackable.” Jonathan Haidt #3bookspodcast

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Chapter 102: Susan Cain on bathing in beauty, books, and bittersweetness

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This is a very unique chapter!

It is a double chapter, in a way.

To begin with I was so lucky to interview Susan Cain at our very first live chapter of 3 Books at the 92nd Street Y in New York City. So many 3 Bookers came out and celebrated on a snowy night just before the pandemic began. (We had no idea!) At the time Susan was deep in the throes of writing her new book Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole but as we discuss a lot of her work in process we didn’t want to scoop the book so held onto this conversation until it was ready for the world.

Well, it’s ready for the world! Bittersweet just came out and debuted at #1 on The New York Times bestseller list! How did we celebrate? By having another conversation, of course! Susan and I partnered with the wonderful indie bookstore Magic City Books of Tulsa, Oklahoma, and just conducted a live book tour stop together.

So Chapter 102 of 3 Books is a double interview! Our first ever. It’s a before and after. Two live conversations with you hanging out between us pre- and (can we say post yet?) post-pandemic.

Listen to Susan and I discuss: bathing ourselves in beauty, the power of reading, exploring identity, honoring our children, the tension between family and art, the benefits of envy, the nature of sorrow and longing, and, of course, the brilliant Susan Cain’s 3 most formative books.

Let’s flip the page into Chapter 102 now…

Chapter 102: Susan Cain on bathing in beauty, books and bittersweetness

What You'll Learn:

  • How do make reading a family activity?

  • How can we manage FOMO?

  • How do books allow you to explore your identity?

  • How should we think about gender norms?

  • How do we go about letting our children feel honored?

  • Can family and love coexist with art?

  • Why should a question be at the center of all writing projects? 

  • How are personality profiles helpful?

  • How can envy be a useful emotion?

  • What is longing?

  • How can we use our longing?

  • Where can we find beauty and why should we immerse ourselves in it?

Notable quotes from Susan:

“There are a thousand messages that the world is sending you all the time, that unwittingly stand in between you and the life that you really are meant to be leading and I think you have to be really thoughtful .. and really proactive about figuring out how do you really truly want to be spending your time.” Susan Cain #3bookspodcast

“If we were ever able to get to the point of letting go of, I shouldn't do X because X is weird or X is not what's socially acceptable, we'd be completely different beings.” Susan Cain #3bookspodcast

“You read a book and you are like mainlining into another person's heart and soul and they into yours.” Susan Cain #3bookspodcast

“We all have different obstacles that stand between us and where we're supposed to be.” Susan Cain #3bookspodcast

“I think all of us are different people, depending on who we're with.” Susan Cain #3bookspodcast

“There's plenty of room to love the people around you and honor the people around you AND be your full self.” Susan Cain #3bookspodcast

“If you truly believe that your children should be who they are, your children are gonna know that.” Susan Cain #3bookspodcast

“We all want a world where everybody is completely safe and kind and loved and everything, and we're never going to get there, but there's something about the yearning for that, that unleashes our best and deepest selves and our most creative selves….and our divine selves.” Susan Cain #3bookspodcast

“We should start our days by immersing ourselves in beauty.” Susan Cain #3bookspodcast

“There's such a ridiculous amount of beauty all over the place or the sacred …so it's a question of orienting towards that.” Susan Cain #3bookspodcast

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Chapter 101: Daniels existentially explore everything everywhere

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The best movie I have seen in years is called Everything, Everywhere All At Once and it was written and directed by Daniels. Daniels? Yes, Daniels. Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, to be specific. Two brilliant artists who met in college and began stitching together short films before working on music videos like Turn Down For What by DJ Snake and Lil John (over a billion views), Simple Song by The Shins, and Tongues by Joywave. Watch those to see their energy and magic.

Daniels made their feature-length debut at Sundance in 2016 with Swiss Army Man also known as the “Daniel Radcliffe farting corpse movie” and then followed it up with this twisting multiverse action flick Everything Everywhere All At Once starring Michelle Yeoh, Ke Huy Quan, Stephanie Hsu, and Jamie Lee Curtis.

And how’s this arthouse flick (with a paltry $25 million dollar budget!) doing? Well, it is the highest rated film of the decade on Rotten Tomatoes. It’s being credited with bringing back multiplex crowds post-pandemic. And the people who see it and love it (like I did) end up going back to see it again and again. (You’ll pick up so much more on the second time through and now I’m just itching for a third!)

Daniels create art for art’s sake — that David Foster Wallace Nature of the Fun ethos we’ve talked about before — and the result is this incredibly provocative and non-conformist stuff that just squeezes your mind until the smiles and tears start rushing out.

Let’s flip the page into Chapter 101 now…

What You'll Learn:

  • What is the greatest compliment for a filmmaker?

  • Why should you journal about a project before sharing it with your audience?

  • How might we evaluate our own projects?

  • What is the tension between humility and hubris?

  • How do we deal with imposter syndrome?

  • What is it like growing up with ADHD?

  • How do we learn to appreciate discomfort in art?

  • How do we supercharge our creativity and access ideas?

  • What is the education system getting wrong?

  • How can we cultivate creativity in our kids?

  • What should we question about sex?

  • How do we learn to live in a post-physical world?

Notable quotes from daniels:

“Tears come from laughing or crying but they're both the result of the intellect being unable to process something.” Daniels (Kwan) #3bookspodcast

“We wanted to create a movie that just smashed through the intellect, that cage that we've built around our brains so that we can just feel things that we can't put into words.” Daniels (Kwan) #3bookspodcast

“We're so disempowered because of how connected we are to everything. We now have access to seven billion other lives at the same time. None of us feel like we have any control and none of our decisions matter.” Daniels (Kwan) #3bookspodcast

“Of course people disappear into video games where it is a meritocracy. It's like you can actually spend a few hours and learn a skill and get points. In life it doesn't work that way.” Daniels (Scheinert) #3bookspodcast

“Kindness is power.” Daniels (Kwan) #3bookspodcast

“If you don't have humility, you won't listen. When you're not listening, you're not actually going to make something that will truly resonate with other people. On other hand, you have to have the hubris to say ‘My art deserves to be seen by millions!’ It’s this kind of crazy tension.” - Daniels (Kwan) #3bookspodcast

“Growing up with ADHD the moral judgment was I must be so lazy, selfish, I don't care about anyone else and I let everyone down because I'm so distracted. You just build up this view of yourself where you are a burden on everyone around you.” Daniels (Kwan) #3bookspodcast

“The difference between normal people who procrastinate and ADHD people who procrastinate is like we procrastinate until we want to kill ourselves.” Daniels (Kwan) #3bookspodcast

“Let’s start celebrating the pros of atypical brains. So many great artists aren't neurotypical and we want them to feel less shame about it.” Daniels (Scheinert) #3bookspodcast

“There's something so freeing about reading stories that are funny and perverted and profound. Where all the characters aren’t aspirational.” Daniels (Scheinert) #3bookspodcast

“I don't want to be a comedian who just makes people laugh. Like, that's kind of just the fast food of art. I want to say things and poke at things and get into provocative nooks and crannies.” Daniels (Scheinert) #3bookspodcast

“We don’t take drugs to come up with ideas. We take drugs to turn off the ideas.” Daniels (Kwan) #3bookspodcast

“I spent most of my life with my brain in this box of morality and a more traditional worldview. The moment that it got released, it forced me to stretch out in every direction in ways that I think some people usually wouldn't want to so creatively.” Daniels (Kwan) #3bookspodcast

I like being a cheerleader for my friend’s most unpronounceable ideas.” Daniels (Scheinert) #3bookspodcast

“We teach kids to be creative for the first few years of their life and then we teach them how to quit being so creative for the next 10 years of their lives.” Daniels (Scheinert) #3bookspodcast

“School is designed to create obedient factory workers. What we need to be teaching is emotional intelligence and resilience and collaboration and kindness.” Daniels (Kwan) #3bookspodcast

“When we're a team of fifty and we share all our food and we raise each other's children we're kind of an unstoppable species.” Daniels (Scheinert) #3bookspodcast

“We are the summation or the amalgamation of all of our influences, all the things that we consumed and read and watched while we were growing up.” Daniels (Kwan) #3bookspodcast

“We live in this world that is kind of post-physical and kind of the fictions and the other realities that are colliding with our brains at all times is now woven into how we look at the world.” Daniels (Kwan) #3bookspodcast

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Chapter 100: Neil and Leslie on the creative chaos of craft and the kindness of committed community

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Welcome to Chapter 100!

Thank you for four years of this journey and conversation.

To mark the move into triple digits I thought we could do a reflection and visioning discussion … back in the basement with Leslie just like we did in Chapter 1.

We will discuss some highs and lows, lessons learned, current podcast challenges, and some dreams for the future.

Thank you for being a 3 Booker and joining this heart-forward community of book lovers, writers, makers, sellers, and librarians. Whether you’re a bibliomaniac (like Doug in Chapter 99!) or trying to peel yourself off your screen to read more (like I was!), welcome, welcome, thanks for coming, thanks for being here to discuss life’s biggest themes through the power of reading.

Join us for the Chapter 100 check-in and then let’s keep going…

 
 
 
 
 
 

Chapter 99: Doug the Bookseller on bookstore belonging and bottomless bibliomania

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Just dial 416-482-5665 and chances are Doug Miller will pick up the phone at Doug Miller Books, an incredible stuffed-to-the-ceiling bookstore that represents a mere sliver of the over 500,000-book collection of self-described bibliomaniac Doug Miller. Why do I say chances are? Well, Doug works in his shop 364 days a week. He comes mid-morning every day and shovels the front walks of six of his neighbors in Koreatown in Toronto, Canada.

I have known Doug Miller for over ten years and it was a rare treat to spend an afternoon with him, with you, and with (as you’ll hear) an ever-growing ‘shush’ of booklovers. As we we tip up against Chapter 100 of 3 Books — four years of this conversation! — I thought where better to spend time than in an incredible bookstore.

We discuss why publishers ‘hate’ authors and booksellers, bibliophilia as a lifestyle choice, processing grief, helping reluctant readers, and, of course, Doug Miller’s three most formative books.

I hope you enjoy this aural feast with the incredible Doug Miller.

Let’s flip the page into Chapter 99 now…

What You'll Learn:

  • Why do publishers hate bookstores?

  • How can we expand ourselves?

  • Who was Edward Gorey? William Faulkner?

  • What is the real business of selling books?

  • What books should we read when we deal with grief?

  • How do you get reluctant readers to read?

  • Why do we need help picking books sometimes?

  • Why is non fiction so popular these days?

  • What can small bookstores do that big book chains cannot?

  • Why has it never been harder and never been easier to publish a book?

  • Why is it so difficult to pinpoint a formative book?

Notable quotes from doug miller

“Owning a bookstore isn’t a business — it’s a lifestyle.” Doug Miller #3bookspodcast.”

“I always joke that publishers hate two things: they hate authors and they hate bookstores.” Doug Miller #3bookspodcast

“It doesn’t matter what you read just as long as you read.” Doug Miller (quoting his mom) #3bookspodcast

”There’s a multitude of material out there to be discovered. I think it’s vital to the books industry and to being a human being. You’ve gotta become interested to make yourself more interesting.” Doug Miller #3bookspodcast

“When it comes to grief, first we are a part of it, then we deal with it and then we are witness to it.” Doug Miller #3bookspodcast

“Never lie about reading a book. It will blow up in your face.” Doug Miller #3bookspodcast

“You read books, you’re interesting.” Doug Miller #3bookspodcast

doug miller books:

  • website

  • 650 Bloor Street West, Toronto

  • Tel: 416.482.56.65

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Chapter 98: IN-Q invites intimacy, intentionality, and interstellar inquiry

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I’m very pleased, privileged, and proud to introduce or re-introduce you to the sunbeaming sage that is IN-Q.

IN-Q is an award winning poet, multi-platinum song-writer and the bestselling author of the book Inquire Within which I highly, highly recommend. It deserves an even bigger spotlight! It’s a wonderful collection of IN-Q’s poetry. Poetry? Oh yes. Oh, oh yes.

His achievements include being named to Oprah’s Super Soul 100 list of the world’s most influential thought leaders, being the first spoken word artist to perform with Cirque du Soleil, and being featured in HBO’s Def Poetry Jam. His poetry on YouTube has gotten over 100 million views and if you want to check out his work in deeper format I recommend his Amazon Prime exclusive IN-Q Live at the Ace Theatre.

He’s also a songwriter. He has written songs for Foster the People, Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez. If you know the song, "Love you Like a Love Song,” that’s him. He wrote that song. It went multi-platinum and won INQ a BMI award. You wouldn’t know by talking to this chill and humble spirit that songs he’s written have over a billion views.

What is this guy all about?

What inspires him? What can we learn from his walk through this world … and bring into our own?

IN-Q entertains, inspires, and challenges audiences … including our own.

3 Bookers, please get comfortable on the couch between us to talk about time, God, slowing down, moving energy, traveling solo, love, the metaverse and, of course, IN-Q’s 3 most formative books.

I hope you enjoy this conversation.

Let’s flip the page into Chapter 98 now…

What You'll Learn:

  • What does it mean to live in the now?

  • What is time?

  • What is God?

  • How do we slow time down?

  • How can we reconnect with the deeper wisdom of living in the now?

  • How should we move energy?

  • Why is it so important to put intention into our actions?

  • Why should we regularly check back in with our goals?

  • Why is traveling solo so powerful?

  • Why should we make time to be alone?

  • Why is choice so empowering?

  • How can we travel in our own cities?

  • What is love?

  • What will it be like to live in a meta universe?

  • What are the risks of living in a fully animated world?

  • What is Life’s purpose?

  • Why is the world actually one?

  • Why should people share art?

Notable quotes from IN-Q

“Where we came from and where we're going is the infinite oneness and hopefully holding those two thoughts in your mind and in your heart at the same time will allow you to fully embrace the experience that you're having without getting so lost inside of it that you don't remember that you're also something bigger.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“I think I am better at writing about life than living it.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“Most of my poems are me trying to remind myself of lessons that I have to continually learn over and over again.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“My poems are me needing to express a moment through an art form to move energy, you know, emotion, energy in motion.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“Life is incremental and cumulative.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

On living life with intention - “I wish I had the answer, what I have is the question and the exploration of it.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“I don’t think that happiness is a point; it’s a range. … It’s a process not a product. It’s a journey not a destination.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“I do think that if you can focus your energy on just trying to make incremental and cumulative steps in the now to being the best version of yourself that your life starts mirroring that back to you.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“I wouldn't even want to be enlightened. It sounds not fun….I wanna take the ride is my point.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“When you're in pain, a minute feels like forever, but when you're enjoying (life) a minute just disintegrates.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“It's so great when you find those artists that are living in he same time as you are. They're (also) telling you what they think about a culture and where the world is.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“You're here to change the world and you're here for the world to change you. And if you stop either one of those things from happening, you're not living it fully.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“​​If you want to change your life, the fastest way to change your life is to change your environment.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“Your primary relationships in life are your anchor to the world.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“People are so afraid of being alone and that's when you learn how to be with people.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“Knowing that you have choice is so empowering.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“Try to love the people that you don't love at all. Even people that you hate. They probably need it most of all. And if you can't love them big, see if you can love them small.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“Life has a mind of its own.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“I actually believe that my life purpose is just to be a part of evolution.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“Life wants to evolve life. I don't think it even cares more about human life than life in general. I think life has a direction of its own.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

“If we don't kill ourselves off, we will wind up realizing that we are one world.” IN-Q #3bookspodcast

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Chapter 97: Debbie Millman shuns shame to spark spirit and sew soulful symbiosis

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Are you a passionate fan of Design Matters like I am? It’s one of the world’s oldest podcasts and one of the best shows out there. Debbie Millman scratches her insatiable curiosity and explores what it means to live a rich, fulfilling, intentional life with luminaries like Brené Brown, Cheryl Strayed, Brandon Stanton, Seth Godin, and, of course, Roxane Gay. (All guests of 3 Books, too! Clearly we have tethers between our hearts.)

Where do we start with Debbie Millman?

Well, she’s ‘one of the most creative people in business’ according to Fast Company and one of the ‘most influential designers working in the world today’ says Graphic Design USA. She’s got a wonderful new book called Why Design Matters: Conversations with the World’s Most Creative People, a giant, heavy, amazing tome put out by Harper Design which serves as a compressed set of wisdom and values from Design Matters.

Debbie is the author of seven other books including: How to Think Like a Great Graphic Designer and Brand Thinking and Other Noble Pursuits. She co-founded the world’s first graduate program in branding at The School of Visual Arts back in 2010. For 20 years before that she was the President of Sterling Brands, one of the world’s leading branding consulting agencies. What did she do there? No big deal: She helped design brand identities and logos for Star Wars, Burger King, Häagen Dazs, Gillette and even the No More movement.

Is she an activist? She sure is!

She’s also working with the Joyful Heart Foundation to eradicate sexual assault, domestic violence, child abuse and the rape kit back log.

Fascinating and containing many multitudes, it was an honor and privilege to welcome Debbie Millman on 3 Books to talk about: how you avoid limiting possibilities, why regret cannot be metabolized, what happens when you’re public about your shame, what makes for a great interview, and, of course, what are the incredible Debbie Millman’s 3 most formative books!

Let’s flip the page and jump into Chapter 97 now…

What You'll Learn:

  • What makes for a good interview?

  • How do you prepare for interviews?

  • How can we find our identity?

  • What are the different types of happiness?

  • What is organic happiness vs synthetic happiness?

  • Why is regret so damaging?

  • How do we navigate ‘gaping wounds of need’?

  • What can help a self-soothing journey?

  • How can we heal from shame?

  • How do we learn to slow down?

  • Why do feelings of accomplishment not last?

  • How do we orient ourselves towards what really matters most?

Notable quotes from debbie millman

“When a book lets you experience what it means to be alive it is art.” Debbie Millman #3bookspodcast

“I don't know that I  fell in love. I think maybe love found me.” Debbie Millman #3bookspodcast

“The one thing that I would say is a real common denominator in the younger students I teach, is the notion of eliminating what's possible in their lives before they attempt to even see if it's possible.” Debbie Millman #3bookspodcast

“When you are young, it's absolutely okay to sort of fall flat on your face with really very little ramification other than maybe a bruised ego.” Debbie Millman #3bookspodcast

“Regret is not an emotion that can be metabolized.” Debbie Millman #3bookspodcast

​​”We can metabolize grief. We metabolize love. We metabolize hunger when we eat. We metabolize all sorts of things, but we don't metabolize regret because there's no closure.” Debbie Millman #3bookspodcast

“You must learn to self-soothe a gaping wound of need because no one else is going to be able to do it for you.” Debbie Millman #3bookspodcast

“We have to figure out how to self-regulate in a way that allows us to accept somebody as is without a requirement that they heal us.” Debbie Millman #3bookspodcast

“What feels so overwhelmingly shameful does allow you to reconsider what shame is.” Debbie Millman #3bookspodcast

“I use productivity as a way to feel valuable as a human.” Debbie Millman #3bookspodcast

“Our addiction to social media is probably fueling a lot of feelings of lack of value. Everything is about positioning and projecting a certain kind of image and  I think that that can be really damaging to more soulful experiences.” Debbie Millman #3bookspodcast

“I don't think that people are really addicted to their devices per se. I think that they're addicted to the feelings that they get through the devices” Debbie Millman #3bookspodcast

“I don't think anybody ever comes away from Instagram after 30 minutes of scrolling feeling really good about themselves but yet we do it. “ Debbie Millman #3bookspodcast

“Poetry is really the highest art form.” Debbie Millman #3bookspodcast

“Expect anything worthwhile to take a long time.”Debbie Millman #3bookspodcast

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Chapter 96: Dave the CEO on stratospheric strategizing and subtle secrets of success

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David Cheesewright is the former CEO of Walmart International.

In that role he led over one million people, across more than 50 different businesses, and over 30 countries.

A behemoth! Both the job and the company. How much of a behemoth? Well, Walmart is literally #1 overall on the Fortune 500 which means no company in the entire world made more money than they did.

How did a small town store from Bentonville, Arkansas rise to be the largest company in the world? Well, one big way they did it is through leadership. For over 20 years, one of the seniormost leaders at Walmart was Dave Cheesewright. Humble, down to earth, soft spoken, and lightning quick, Dave epitomized Level 5 Leadership, to borrow a phrase from Jim Collins. I was lucky to have a development role working for Dave when he was President and CEO of Walmart Canada. It was the most formative role of my career and I trace many stories and models in my books directly back to conversations and lessons I learned from Dave.

There was always something magical about Dave.

He was a former gym teacher who owned only one slightly crumpled suit and drove a beat-up van to work when he wasn’t showing up sweaty in the hallways after riding his bike. He had no fancy business degrees and was a true family man who was always home for dinner with his wife Clare and their three kids. He had a smaller office than his direct reports and ate two-dollar egg salad sandwiches at lunch amongst all the employees in the Home Office cafeteria. He would sometimes mention in the morning that he knocked on a Walmart in the middle of the night so he could help stock shelves on the overnight shift. He never used email, cancelled every meeting he could, personally phoned associates across the country to say thank you, and insisted every one-pager presented to him pass “The Grandma Test” (“Would my grandma who knows nothing about this business understand it?”).

Dave was promoted from CEO of Walmart Canada to CEO of Walmart EMEA (Europe, Middle East, and Africa) and later promoted again to CEO of Walmart International. What does a CEO overseeing over a million people actually … do? Well, that’s just one thing we’re going to talk about.

If you are a fan of the strategic thinking big time CEOs offer you’re going to love this conversation with a guy who thinks 500,000-feet above sea level.

What does a CEO do? What does a board of directors do? How do you make business simpler? What is the paradox of choice? How do we take an even more global view of things? How might we think about AI? What are the basic tenets of retail? Why shouldn’t you answer emails? How do you become a better delegator? What is the S-Curve in business? And much, much, much more…

I was thrilled to sit down with David Cheesewright, former CEO of Walmart International, in his living room to talk about his 3 most formative books.

I hope you love this conversation as much as I did.

Let’s flip the page into Chapter 96 now…

What You'll Learn:

  • What is the value of taking handwritten notes?

  • How should one manage the initial stages of retirement?

  • What is the value exchange?

  • What is the job of a Fortune 500 Company CEO?

  • What is the key to cultivating talent?

  • What is the S-Curve in business?

  • How does the CEO of a major company deal with imposter syndrome?

  • What does a Board of Directors for a public company actually do?

  • What is the moral obligation of a Board of Directors?

  • How can a company truly live by its values?

  • Why is what matters most invisible?

  • How can businesses become simpler?

  • What is the paradox of choice?

  • What are some of the greatest challenges the workforce faces?

  • Is outsourcing manufacturing to China a force for good in the world?

  • What are the limitations of governance in a globalized world?

  • How does AI stack up?

  • What book will help you flirt?

  • How can good habits serve us at different stages of life?

  • Why should you not answer emails?

  • Why should we delegate more?

  • What is the importance of perspective?

  • What does achieving a balance over life mean?

Notable quotes from dave cheesewright

“What’s really important in jobs where you are not there full time is what you might call the value exchange. Do you feel valued in the experience and the knowledge and advice that you can give and does the company feel like you are valuable.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“It’s not about the strategy; it’s about the people.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“It’s about finding great people and then putting them in the right jobs at the right time.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“All the right leaders are authentic so you want to find roles that play to their strengths.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“The job of a leader is to create an environment where people excel.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“There is no one best line-up” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“Success is judged in many ways.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“You need to be content that you are somewhere where you can be yourself, you're giving it the best shot you can and you're happy with your own contribution.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“Judgements are in the eye of the beholder but the only beholder that matters is me, my family and my close friends” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“It’s very hard to know what goes on simply by listening to someone speak.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“The best board members are the ones who understand that getting into the business and finding those less formal conversations with leaders is the way to know what’s going on.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“In a formal environment there will always be an element of game playing that is going on but I find informal environments dispense with a lot of that.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“The challenge with big business is the bigger you are, the more misperceptions will exist irrespective of what your behaviour is.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“When you get big it is really hard to make sure everything is correct all the time. You will often get dealt with by your exceptions. There is no process in the world that can counter that but culture can counter that.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“If there is a set of values for a business they need to be more than a set of words on a wall. And to do that a leader has to be a student of them and a teacher of them.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“You don’t solve broad issues by policy. You change them by behaviour and values.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“Simplicity is about providing people with a route map.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“Strategy is about simplifying things for people. It’s about finding frameworks that are narrow enough that they mean people are running in roughly the right direction but broad enough that they’ll stand the test of time.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“Simplicity is about finding frameworks that allow people to see the wood from the trees.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“The simplest way to drive up your perception of choice is to take product out because the more product you take out, the easier it is to find what you really want and therefore you feel like your choice has gone up.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“The profound issues that face the world require very long term thinking.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“The theory of unintended consequence means that in almost every aspect of life, what made you great is usually your biggest downfall.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“What AI misses is humanity.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“There aren’t many things that machines can do better than humans.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“There is something unique about the way humans will think that machines won’t replicate.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“The more you read the more you see similar concepts emerging.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“It’s very hard for the brain to inquire once it has become judgemental” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“There is no book out there where you won’t learn something. There is no experience out there where you won’t learn something.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“When you don’t answer emails, more often than not what people will do is take it as implicit permission to go and solve it themselves.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“With delegation risk is way lower than you think. And the reason it's low is because most things are not earth shattering, whether someone gets it right and wrong and even when they get it wrong, it's a phenomenal learning exercise for them.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“Different phases allow you to redress balances” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

“I think the ability not to look back and wish you were doing something that is no longer there is really important. Just look forward to the things you can do.” Dave Cheesewright #3bookspodcast

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